Be A Leader - Not A Victim

Every single day we have an opportunity. An opportunity to choose how we act, behave, speak and react to every situation we are faced with.

Let me ask you a question: What’s your default way of dealing with the hard or uncomfortable life experiences that come your way? 

Do you react unconsciously from the triggered, hurt or scared parts of your personality? Do you react negatively and either lash out at others or retreat and hide? Do you play the victim and immediately blame others? 

Or do use these daily life experiences to practice stepping into being a leader? Do you use these experiences as a way to practice observing yourself, recognising that you are triggered - but choosing to step up and into the parts of your personality that will help you rise above the situation. The parts of your personality that are wiser and more mature than your triggered parts. The parts of your personality that know that no matter what adversity you are facing - it is always better to face the situation and to learn and grow from it - rather than hide or blame. Your inner leader. Your inner elder. Your inner warrior. 

The issue with playing the victim is that you are actually losing power in the situation. If you move to externalise the problem, blame other people and react negatively - you are giving up your power to make the choice about how you are reacting in the situation. You are giving the opportunity for you to step up and be a leader.

If you are reacting unconsciously from the triggered parts of your personality - there is no power in this for you. You are at the mercy of your hurt, abandoned, angry and scared parts of your personality and how they want you to react.

 However, if you take the view that every opportunity in life is an opportunity for you to learn and to grow - to practice being a leader to both yourself and others in these situations - there is absolute power in this for you. 

Now you won’t always get this ‘right’ or ‘correct’. There will be times when you find yourself in ‘automatic response mode’. The process then becomes one of recognising you are not acting and reacting how you want to - and changing this. 

I encourage you to do the following when you are in a hard life situation:

• Ask yourself - “What’s the opportunity here?”
• Ask yourself - “How am I turning up in this harder time?”
• Try to observe and feel the emotion - rather than just expressing it unfiltered.
• Get up and move your body to shift the energy of the triggered emotions you are experiencing.
• Practice self-forgiveness - “I am doing / I have done the best that I can / could.” 

Remember - there is always growth, power, self-love and self-respect in choosing to be a leader rather than a victim. Make sure you are consciously choosing this for yourself every day. 

Live Out Loud

Josh Stone