The Power Of Choice

“Your life is the sum result of all the choices you make,

Both consciously and unconsciously.

If you can control the process of choosing,

You can take control of all aspects of your life.

You can find the freedom that comes from being in charge of yourself”.

• Robert F. Bennett 

One of the biggest hypes in the coaching and training world and one that does not sit very well with me is that you use coaching, training or personal development to be “happier, fuller, filled with love and light”. Whilst this can be true, to a degree, the truth is that this work is much more than that. 

The problem is that what this work truly offers is much less commercial, not very exciting and requires hard work and commitment. Hardly something you are going to be able to readily sell to a world that is looking for a ‘magic bullet’ to cure all their sadness, pain and confusion.

What inner work is REALLY all about is your ability to make moment to moment choices that are aligned with a greater vision of who you are, and what your life consists of. 

For example, recently I had a coaching session with a budding leader. She recognised through our work together that she had been falling back on other people her whole life. That she had consistently looked to other people for support, and never truly believed in her ability to do things. This caused her to make choices where she would ‘forget’ to do important tasks in her role, to put her head in the sand over budgets and details, and it caused a certain amount of lack of accountability and reliability in her team.

It certainly was reminiscent of a ‘poor me’ mentality. 

If we were solely looking at the way we are marketed to a lot of the time we would be told we can ‘turn our shitty decisions into peace, love and happiness’. Probably the daily decision making and choices would not even be looked at, and you would be no closer to fulfilling your leadership potential as you were last week. 

On the other hand, we look at the process of CHOOSING the moment to moment decisions that we make, where this process of choosing COMES FROM, and how to move forward in the future.

What the ‘hyped’ world doesn’t tell you – is that this method of choosing came from a life of being enabled by others, from childhood, and that it is going to be a tough road out, with a lot of hard decisions made to become INDEPENDENT and STRONG and to FEEL CAPABLE. It isn’t overnight, it isn’t easy, and it involves dismantling a whole life of helplessness.

But the upshot is that on the other side of this, this leader is going to become empowered, capable and independent. And a lot more grounded in reality. If you have been enabled your whole life or have always had your head stuck in the sand – chances are you are covering up some pretty deep, dark feelings that you are incapable.

Although it’s not rainbows and sunshine. The daily decision making and the hard road are so worth it. 

Live Out Loud

Gab