We Fear The Very Life We Chase

We say we want a good life. A life of fun, happiness, joy and fulfilment. An inspired life where we feel deeply rewarded in our careers, where we lead and are part of an inspired team, have meaningful and connected relationships and make a difference in the lives of those around us.

Unfortunately, we are in fact the opposite. We are actually addicted to the problems, the issues and the drama in our lives that cause us unhappiness and stress. 

And when I say addicted, I literally mean addicted. When we experience a stressful event in our lives - which might be a tight deadline that we need to hit, a team member performance issue that we need to deal with, a personal crisis or a make-or-break career-defining moment - our body actually releases a cascade of chemicals into our system that gives us the energy, additional cognitive ability and stamina required to help us deal with the stressful event. 

I know you’ve all been there. The heart beating faster when you’re rushing to meet a deadline, the perspiration and the rushed speech when you need to have a difficult conversation with someone or the clarity of thought and your ability to nail a task list when in crisis mode. 

This release of chemicals into our system is only supposed to help us in the short term to deal with this event. And when it’s over, we’re supposed to go back to our naturally calm, creative and inspired state of being. However, most people lead very full and very stressful lives - which means that their bodies are constantly needing to produce these short-term chemicals - over the long term. 

Over time we unconsciously become addicted to our problems because of how good it feels. We actually love the rush of energy we get from our troubles and our issues.

We unconsciously keep all of these negative elements in our lives, just so we can feel good when we have to deal with them.

When we set our goals and we create our vision for our life - it is always to work less, relax more, connect with family and loved ones more often, travel more and see more of the world and in general be better at letting go of the stress and the small stuff in our day to day lives that seems big at the time - but actually doesn’t matter in the long run. 

The issue is that we unconsciously LOVE these small and stressful issues that we meet every day. 

We say on the conscious level of our minds that we want to live an inspired and stress-free life, but on the unconscious level of our minds we know we will never give up the stressful and toxic things in our lives -because they FEEL too good.

We actually unconsciously fear a life where all our problems are taken away - because we wouldn’t know how to think and feel - we actually wouldn’t know who we are.

We fear the very life that we chase. 

The good news is that we can change. We just need to do the work - and when I say “the work” I don’t mean working longer hours so that you can keep yourself in a stressed out and burnt out state. I mean do the inner work. 

The only way to turn this around and to let go of your addiction to stress, drama and problems is to work with your unconscious mind and re-condition your mind and your body to actually want the life you say you want and of course getting some help from a really awesome coach 😉 

Live Out Loud 

Josh Stone